Comments from Toady about Stars 'n Toads office humor comic strips. He might be happy, frustrated, mad or sad, but in this blog Toady tells how various 'toons came about. Also, an opportunity for his readers (stars, of course) to comment back. Ribet!

Monday, October 31, 2005


It was Halloween, October 31st, 2003. Mary was dressed as a witch. Billy was a dashing pirate with his black mustache and wavy Rhett Butler hair style.

I had put out my head collection for the occasion. A very real looking shrunken head from the Jiveros of Ecuador, a carved wooden skull which I told everyone was my first boss at Corporate, and a tiny miniature toilet. Everyone was impressed with the comode.

Then we got called in to a surprise meeting with someone down from Division HQ.
It was a petite little blonde in a black mini-skirt with a gold chain around her waist. We'd heard of her because whe was well connected. Her father was a VP at one of our customers and played golf with some of our big birds. She had living arrangements with her boss and had been promoted regularly.

She started out with a sweet and demeaning tone in telling us of a new proceedure we were to institute which we all thought stunk. We had to send her copies of certain types of transactions which she had to approve before we could finalize them. Joey started giving her a hard time about it; Billy told her it was not possible and I agreed with him. Then our own Gully Boss came in and said we were going to do it regardless. We saluted and stomped out.

After that she was only known as "The Witch", though Billy usually replaced the"W" with a capital "B".

We snowed her in paperwork for the first week and then conveniently forgot about it. She never gave us feedback on the first week's stuff and the subject didn't come up again.

Oh, Billy let slip a few snide remarks about her legs to one of the female visitors from Division (something about mockingbirds) and the next time we saw her she was dressed like a Pilgrim. She transferred to Corporate PR a few months later. She can pass out her poisoned apples there.


Monday, October 24, 2005


Everybody knows at least one "Slider"; you know, someone who is always chewing people out or that person you avoid because you can never please them. The way this came about was my friend Twinkles went down to accounting to get payment for someone who deserved it. He forgot to "cross one t" and got chewed on for it. Aparently the clerk who had to sign was having a bad day and was ripping on someone else while Twinkles was there. When he came by my office he said: "We need to get that so-and-so signed up for anger management classes."

I chuckled and made a note. It evolved into what you see.

See what Toady says about anger management I Manage My Anger AT Management

Toady Rocks!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Night Shift = Toothpicks

"I was so tired I had to pry my eyes open with toothpicks!"
That was a quote from my sweetheart. She is an RN and worked for years doing
the 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. shift tending intensive care premature babies. I thought it was a
rather graphic way to describe how it gets sometimes when someone is sleepy and can't go to sleep.

When we were dating, 1000 miles long distance and in different time zones,
I used to call her at 4 a.m. her time. She was always pretty perky then, though her
cohorts in the ICU wondered about a fiance who could be perky at that hour.

My experience is that most people doing night shifts figure out how to live with it, but every onece in a while, most people feel like they could use some toothpicks.

See how Toady does it at Night Shift = Toothpicks

Toady Rocks!

Friday, October 14, 2005

Funny Cartoon About The Customer Abuse Zone

It makes me so mad. We bought this new plug-in system that was supposed to
walk and talk and chew gum and solve all of our problems. I plug mine in and it powers up beautifully, but after that it doesn't do what it's supposed to.

So I call the 800 (toll-free-abuse) hotline number and talk to a "customer service" rep. I describe my problem and then get put on hold, and their music was too loud so I couldn't concentrate on anything else, and I was on hold forever. Finally someone comes on the line and appologizes for the last woman I talked to. I describe the problem again and this guy starts asking me questions. He never answers mine. I finally decide he doesn't know the answer.

He asks me if I have re-booted. I ask him if he thinks I am stupid. There is a long silence. Apparently he does. He makes a few suggestions and I hang up to see if they work.

They don’t! In this case we sent the whole system back. They gave us extensive
grief but never could prove that it did what we wanted.

And so I started the Customer Abuse Zone. We'll see if anyone wants to help.

Click here to see Funny Cartoon about customer abuse.

Toady Rocks!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Brains are Great Food For Funny Office Cartoons

How do you like your brains?

Well, inside my head? Or, Any way but fried; Or, at 100% efficiency.

Some days I just wish I had a brain. Other days I wish they would let me use it.

This page has four cartoons about brains. One reflects a frequent story around here about a vendor that has promised us parts but they are late, and come to find out they don't really know where the parts are. It all happened again just a few days back, and a little packag came in, instead of the truck load we had expected. I said: "You could say they sent us their brains, since they would fit in a very small package." To which Twinkles retorted, "But if they did they'd be fried."

The next one shows one our favorite sayings about mental blocks. Depending on who has one, we always say that it is a small mental block. Then some unknowing soul asks: "How do you know it is a small mental block?" Everyone laughs when the answer is given: "Because he has such a small mind."

Then there is the classic brain problem that you come up with a hot idea and run to tell someone. They are unimpressed, or uninterested, or unintelligent, since your ideas are obviously good. This cartoon is a graphic representation of what happens when you take your hot idea to someone.

Life Hurts!

Click here to see Funny Cartoons - If I Only Had A Brain

Toady Rocks!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Management By FLYING Around - MBWA for Birds?

Yes, I know, Management by Walking Around is way old, and everyone assumes that enlightened managers (Birds are lightened, right. They fly, that's light.) already know and practice it. But did you know that there are still people paying to hear about MBWA and there are still tons of birds who do not get out of their offices to find out what is really going on.

We get really excited when a bird walks through our sea of cells, but they don't do it very often. Sometimes they walk through production, where the real toads live, but even then it is an exceptional bird that flys around very much. They are mostly glued to their computers, and when they fly around it is dangerous because they know so little about what's really going on they mess things up.

This 'toon became our icon back when we were doing normal sized 'toons. It kind of shows what Stars 'n Toads is all about in one quick 'toon.

Click here to see MBWA - Management by FLYING Around

Toady Rocks!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Salesman, Go Do Your Real Job

Sometimes you get real sick of a peddler, (you may call it a salesman.)
This guy was bad because he was well connected with some of our birds and they
kind of expected us to buy from him and he (more than kind of) expected an order from purchasing. Engineering was holding things up because test samples did not
meet our requirements. Of course, he had every reason in the book to prove that
his samples were perfect and our engineers were somehow not with it. But he was all wet, so to speak.

Well, Liz got stuck talking to him on the phone. The guy would not go
away. He didn't exactly say: "Give me an order," but he made it all clear that he
was expecting to do business with us. So, Liz finally got terse with him and
asked him if he didn't have a real job to go to. "Whats my real job?" he asked.
"Lying to customers," Liz told him. There was a long, long silence, then a click.

Yes, management asked what was going on and Liz gave them a terse verse too.
She does have it in her when she gets riled. We never did do business with those
twits. One of the big birds in engineering was bigger than the connected bird in purchasing. Sometimes the bureau-crazy works in spite of its self.

Click here to see Salesman Have A Real Job

Toady Rocks!

Vendors ARE Defects

It always makes me sooooo Ribeting mad. Why are some companies always shipping junk.
With some suppliers we have a "defect of the week" recognition. You can always be
sure that they will attempt to shut down production for some unforseen reason.
It's always too big or too small, too late or too few, unapproved or out-of-date.
How can they make any money when all they ship are ribets!

There is one supplier we call Black Hole, because nothing good seems to come out of
their place. But the last straw was one day they sent Felina a virus in an attachment. The bells went off back in IT and her computer shut down. It was just par for the course.

Speaking of which, their big birds were on the golf course with some of our little birds and we (unknowingly) called in the report in the middle of the 8th hole. I think their drinks were a little strong that day. They needed an excuse for a headache next morning.

Boy, will we ever have them for lunch! Yech!!!!!!!

Click here to see Vendor is a Black Hole!

Toady Rocks!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Toady IS Lunch

Being "eaten for lunch" is what we call it when someone is coming in to chew on us.

Now, it isn't our fault the customer is in trouble. If they would let us design the product with our own great engineering team it would be perfect. But no, they insist on designing it themselves with their own band of nit-wits and when it doesn't work they blame us.

Yes, the "customer always knows best," so we tiptoe around when we are with them, but SINCE I'M A MERE TOAD, I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THEIR GUFF, and somewhere deep down inside I am resolved to make them sorry they are going to pick on me!

I never liked having to tiptoe while I ate lunch, and customers always make us buy, so the best you get out of lunch with them is a sour stomach.



Click here to see Toady IS Lunch

Toady Rocks!

Brain Is Wired - Computer Whiz Humor


From a comment in January 3 of 2001. I don't remember what was said precisely but one of our fine engineers was such a brain at his computers, (he required at least 4 at once to be happy) that someone commented his brain was wired to his computer.

I made the whiz a female for the comic strip just because we had too many M types around and needed a W. (Too many M's are boring)

To give her a name: Giga Bytes, was a last minute thing. Then it rhymed with lights and I always like rhymes.

Click here to see Ms. Giga

Toady Rocks!

The Trainer is a TREE!

This cartoon is for everyone who ever had to sit through a boring class. After all, I could be bored just sitting in front of my computer, and less bored getting that project out for the boss who will just sit on it for 3 weeks before he gives it back to me to revise based on different parameters!


This comic strip is based on a class I took at Mother Mo about 20 years ago. It was in the fancy training room at Corporate Headquarters. It was oriented towards making us more sensitive to perspectives of people who were not like us and this was a pilot class.

One of the exercises was to describe ourselves as how others perceived us. Later we were supposed to compare our own description to the reality of other people in the room. The class was mostly HR professionals and managers, some of them at director levels and possibly a couple of VP's.

The instructor was this 35 year old "professional instructor" who was hired from outside the company so she would not be pre-disposed in teaching the class. She had straight grey/black hair, was very much on the skinny side and her clothing was frumpy and colorless.

The pilot was a bomb and we didn't hear of it again, but I never forgot how she led us into this exercise. She said that SHE HAD ONCE BEEN DESCRIBED AS A TREE TRUNK. Everyone in the room had to bite their lip to keep from laughing. It was a perfect description.

Now, every time I sit through a boring class I think of that TREE PERSON, as we called her later. She wasn't un-attractive, just very boring and her class was boring and her presentation was boring. Well, that is too much for one single blog. Here is the address for the training cartoon training cartoon, trainer comic

Oh, we never heard of the trainer again. Its possible she went to charm school and we didn't recognize her in her next life. (That's putting an impossibly good spin on a tree.)

Its funny I don't remember all the neat and well presented classes or their trainers and only write cartoons about the tree person.

Toady Rocks in Great Office Humor Comic Strip

You must see the great office humor comic strip: Stars 'n Toads, life at WorkRFun,

where Toady Rocks to the 'toons of low flying seagulls and ditz headed co-workers

New Computer

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Taking Lessons In Theory Z

Click here to see the inspirational cartoon: Theory Z In Action

A friend called me a few days ago and told me this story. He claims it is true, though it is not necessarily about him. His computer screen is visible when someone walks into the office and he has been keeping the latest Stars 'n Toads on his screen saver. Fellow employees frequently get a chuckle from the cartoons.

He said: I had been working early and late, and helping out in a neighboring region when I got back to the office early one afternoon. I was pretty frazzed, and sat down in a high-backed chair. I leaned back and kicked my feet up on the desk and without even thinking "Z", was out. My head was back and my mouth opened when the secretary walked in. She saw my profile with the cartoon about Theory Z on the screen and started laughing her head off. I promptly woke up. She explained that she knew I was a fan of that Toad, but didn't realize he had so much influence.

So much for a few Z's!"

Making money for the boss should allow you to rest once in a while!

Purple Cows and Toads???

You can view this great cartoon at TOADY'S PURPLE COW CARTOON site.

I like Mother Goose. Her little poems are neat because they are simple yet versatile. They don't have to have any meaning whatsoever, but you can use them to illustrate any point you wish.

Have you ever been present when a boss just plain lost it? I mean, really blew up. I was in the office with Big Bird one day when he got purple. I mean a downright, livid bright, scammin' bammin' purple! Who'd a thought someone making that much money had it in them?

We were on a conference call with a chip supplier who didn't know the "C" word. (That means "commitment" for those who have feathers in their brains.) These guys just didn't seem to care about us and Big Bird lost it. He screamed at them. He insisted they come in and show a better schedule. He told them he would charge them $25,000 for every shipment we were late on because of their "stupid chip." He told them he was coming to see them. It was all in vos alto: downright, livid bright, scammin' bammin' screamin'. I wanted to hide under the chairs!

The poor telephone nearly cracked when he hit the off button. Then he appologized and said he did it for effect. I got out of there as soon as I could and had a hearty laugh with everyone who couldn't help but hear through the walls of his office. (Only about 40 toads.)

So, what happened to the chips? Well, about the time the poor supplier got us out of tight deliveries our customer had a significant schedule reduction and then we had those stupid chips running out our ears. Now they wanted to charge us for not taking what we ordered. I threatened them with another phone call from Big Bird and they sold them to someone else.

I could tell some other Purple Gull Cow stories, but none are quite so dramatic. Check out the 'toon at TOADY'S PURPLE COW CARTOON site.
If you know any purple gulls, send them a subtle copy.
See more Stars 'n Toads 'toons at TOADY'S OFFICE HUMOR COMIC STRIP.

Boss Out Of Gas Increases Office Productivity

You can view this great cartoon at TOADY'S OFFICE PRODUCTIVITY CARTOON site.

Here's how this cartoon came to be...

You see, one day as I pulled out onto the freeway my little gas efficient toad-mobile, I was nearly run off the road by a big new gas-guzzling suburban type tank. He zoomed on up the hill and I edged into traffic. Pretty normal stuff for a little toad.

I was enjoying some nice tunes while I thought up some nice 'toons when I noticed that same big tank car stopped at the side of the road in front of me. The rear door was open and a big turkey had a gas can in his hand. Then I recognized the driver: My boss's boss's boss from work. I thought about stopping but I was in the wrong lane and couldn't hardly get over in time without causing an accident. Besides, there was a gas station about 2 miles away and he could probably use the exercise. Besides, it served him right for being such a jerk! Besides, I was laughing so hard I couldn't possibly have stopped for anything.

He looked so upset. I think there was a VP sitting in his office when he arrived. All of us Toads and Stars had quite a good joke over it. It couldn't have happened to a more deserving bird! I tried for months to put it into a 'toon without looking mean and decided the office productivity approach would be funniest. I am really a very nice toad, but it just wasn't possible to manage up on a day like that.

Dog Calendars Not For Dogs

But they come in such a variety of brilliant colors and sizes that they will add a touch of "friendly" to any home or office.

You can get a calendar with 12 months of your personal favorite breed; or, you can give a special gift to someone who favors a specific canine. Life doesn't have to be mundane. You can add color and charm with any one of hundreds of special calendars. I found calendars for sale everywhere. They are absolutely cheap in many major discount stores, but variety is usually limited and you have to be lucky to find the precise breed of dog you are looking for. Book Stores carry a little better variety but their prices are quite a bit more. The best place to really get what you want is to go on the internet to You will find your best selection of canine calendars through your
Calendar Home on the Web,

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