Christmas Party Dies When the Boss Arrives

Christmas parties are the strangest things. After all, who wants to party with their boss. What if your boss is of the opposite sex?

What if you are both married, or only one of you is,
or what if you are both single?

What if you have too much to drink and say something which might be held against you?

Who wants to party with people they spend the whole day with every day?

Or if it's a company wide party, why would you party with people you don't even know?

If your spouse is having a party the same time, whose party do you go to?

I haven't figured out how to make this stuff funny yet, but I'm working on it.

I do remember a couple of very fun Christmas parties. The one where the director's secretary kissed me good night. I was single, her hubby gave up on her long before, and she
had had too many drinks.

Then there were the white-elephant exchanges where the boss got a cow-pie clock. Another time I played carols on the piano and everyone sang. And many more, good and not-so-good.

I'm glad I don't have one this year!

Merry Christmas to You.

Toady

See the Cartoons at Christmas Party Humor Cartoon

Bursting the Bubble of A Dumb Boss

It never ceases to amaze me…

Two Cartoons here:
The first is about BURSTING A BUBBLE on a couple of dumb bosses.
A co-worker, Mary, was working on some big paper project for her boss. It wasn't going well because her boss wasn't holding up his end. I went to a meeting with this particular boss person and he mentioned the project and how well it was going. He said: "We are just on the bubble of success."

I told Mary what he said and she got this crooked little smile: "I'm going to burst his bubble."

She told him what was going on and he refused to acknowledge there were any problems.

A few days later someone came down from corporate HQ, a bigger bird than Mary's bird. He was talking to her boss about this project. Her boss was grandstanding as usual and called for Mary to bring in the project. Mary couldn't believe it, but she took it in. Then she had to defended herself from his accusations but was cut off from the big boss. Her boss got reamed up one side and down the other. The feathers flew!

Translating reality into a comic strip is an interesting challenge so I did this one with two dumb boss cartoons: BUSRTING THEIR BUBBLE, and FEATHERS WILL FLY.

See the Cartoons at

Charts Make Great Cartoons

We have meetings every week to review everyone's charts and make sure management knows who is in trouble. It's called THE MEETIN' FOR A BEATIN'.

The trick is to make your charts look like you are doing something, but not like you are having enough problems to get in trouble over. Of course, if you have a problem make sure your boss knows it so he/she isn't quizzing you about your charts in front of everyone else. It's pretty sad when your own boss rips you in a meeting. (Ah, time to get a new boss???)


I'm always amazed at how some people's charts always look like they are doing well, even when the scuttlebut is that they are in trouble.

There are many tricks to the trade:
1. Only count the problems/defects that help you look better.
2. Spread your defects so none stick out.
3. If you have a problem, make it the only problem and show progress.
4. If you are in trouble, make sure you are the last presenter; so the bosses are ready to quit.
5. Change what you are tracking so the real problem is re-classified.
6. Save some defects until the beginning of the month. The beginning is bad, the end is an improvement.
7. Always change jobs when your charts are looking good.


There are those who just have a knack for making their charts look good. When they become birds is when you really start having chart fests. Sometimes they use charts to increase competency, usually it is just a show to make everyone think they are good at something.


Statistics never lie, they just say what you make them say.


See Five Chart Cartoons from Toady